So, "Yes and" "High Hopes."

Photograph by Baldomero Fernandez. From Time Magazine. May 2015.

"You know, it's funny..."

I'm sitting here (half a decade removed) watching a spider crawl her way across my bathroom floor. Her spindly legs grasp an invisible string. The Division Bell rings loudly in my right ear.

The grass was greener,

the light was brighter,

the taste was sweeter,

the nights of wonder,

with friends surrounded,

the dawn mist glowing,

the water flowing,

the endless river.

Forever and Ever.

When confronted with a lover's problem, everyone tells the lover the only person they can change is themselves. An interesting time to give that advice. More often than not, the lover believes they can change the other person. The lover believes that's what their other half - their problem - needs. They believe they know the other person better than they know themselves. 

Maybe they do. Who's to say.

But the lover doesn't get to change them. 

That's the more important advice. Fuck changing yourself. All you, my sweet lover boy, need to understand is that you don't get to change them. 

So you can stick around or walk away. But don't wait for change. That'll never help. Watched pot and all.

You can't change until you take responsibility. Stop waiting. Lover.

National Geographic. June 2011.

What is above is not autobiographical. It is simple advice for lovers. And their problems.

What is below is autobiographical.

I have a friend who's in love with me. In fact, they just texted me. Just now. Right now. Funny how that works.

I don't love them the way they love me. It'd be easier if I did. It's rather inconvenient how it is. But I don't, and I told them that. And yet they pushed, pushed, pushed. Until I snapped.

We've recovered from the snap. A bit. I don't reckon things will ever quite be the same, no matter what they or I want. Feelings have been shared. Red flags have been seen. Boundaries have been set. We will likely never be as close as we once were. We will never share a bed again. We will never dance at parties the same way again. We will no longer kiss the tops of each others' heads. 

We are better off for all of this. They took my snap hard. They wanted me to change. But I didn't. I took that advice instead. I followed my rule.

No Country For Old Men (2007).

Here's a quote from No Country For Old Men.

"If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Hmm.

"... when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."