OverTime: So, Eight Hot-ish Takes for Eight Hot-ish Playoff Match-Ups.

It's playoff time baby!! But despite the NBA giving viewers the longest break in the history of sports (3 days?! Are you fucking kidding me. I think this every year but these 3 days are the slowest goddamn days of the calendar year. They wait until March Madness is over and then just leave us with a basketball drought for like 72 hours. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Watch the Braves? Fuck that. I'm gonna go see Us again. Jesus Christ.) Anyway, despite the absurdly long break between the end of regular season and the beginning of the first round, I don't actually have anything concrete to write about the playoffs. And as a bonafide journalist running a blog, well, I have to write something about the biggest event in the NBA, right?

I suppose I could just post a picture of my playoff bracket. But why would I do that? So you can roast me for how far I have the Celtics and Nuggets going? Yeah, I'll pass. Instead, I'm going to look at the first round match-ups and give my initial reactions, my initial hot-takes, without making them all about my picks. Sound good? Good. Let's start at the top of the East.

Bucks (1) v. Pistons (8)

You should bet on the Detroit Pistons to win the title this year.

That's the take.

"Why?" you ask. "Aren't they the worst team in the playoffs by far? Aren't they going to get swept in the first round by Giannis?"

Yes, they are the worst team in the playoffs, regardless of conference. No, they will not win their first round match-up against Milwaukee. But - but - here's why you should bet on them: 25,000. That's the reason. 25,000. If you put $100 down on the Pistons to win the NBA Finals and they pull it off, you win $25,000. Can you even fucking imagine that? I can't. I might throw away $100 just in case it happens. The Pistons might help me pay for college.

They won't of course. But they might. I mean if the 8th seeded Knicks made the Finals, why can't the Pistons?

Raptors (2) v. Magic (7)

I don't like this match-up for the Raptors. I really don't. For whatever reason I actually have more fear for Toronto in this match-up than whoever they hit in Round 2. Orlando is one of those bad teams that only plays well when they should lose. Whenever I check the box scores in the middle of the night it always seems like Orlando is winning a game against Golden State or Boston or some other elite team. 

And this is more than just a feeling I get. I've watched Orlando pull out games against playoff teams this year. I personally watched them make fools out of Philadelphia and San Antonio. I don't often watch Orlando basketball. What are the odds I would see them pick apart such good teams?

Still not convinced? Don't take my word for it. Here are the stats. Orlando is 17 and 24 against teams with a .500 record or above. A losing record, sure, but it is the 4th best record against that caliber of team in the Eastern Conference. That record is better than Brooklyn, Indiana, and Boston, all of which are seeded above them. Yeah, Orlando is the 7th seed, but they aren't going to be a fun opponent.

Get ready for a grueling first round Toronto. At least you aren't playing LeBron.

76ers (3) v. Nets (6)

The Nets steal Game 1. 

If Joel Embiid doesn't play for Philadelphia on Saturday (in the very first game of the playoffs!) then Brooklyn steals Game 1. The Philly experiment this season, in which Elton Brand shipped in Jimmy Butler and Tobias Harris and dumped the entire bench for a new one, has been bubbling on the brink of implosion for the last few months, especially as Joel took time off to prepare his body for the playoffs.

The Nets, on the other hand, have had a fucking renaissance this season. Philly is big. Like really big. And when Brooklyn puts their small ball line-up on the floor, a line-up consisting of their 4 best players - D'Angelo Russell, Caris LeVert, Spencer Dinwiddie, and Joe Harris - it's going to be tough for Philly to stay on pace with them. The 76ers might just get blown off the floor by Brooklyn's super charged pick-n-roll and Russell's clutch rainbow 3s. 

And if the 76ers, especially Embiid, aren't prepared for that on Saturday, then yeah, I can easily see a Nets team with everything to prove come into Philadelphia and steal Game 1.

Celtics (4) v. Pacers (5)

I want to say that I believe in the Pacers. I want to write a long diatribe about how Indiana will pull this out and pay a touching tribute to Victor Oladipo by beating the much more talented Celtics in the first round.

But I'm not going to do that. I actually think - and check this, cause this might actually somehow be a hot take - that Boston will have no real trouble in this series. Yeah, the Cs lost Marcus Smart due to a knee injury and yes, Smart is one of their best defenders. That being said, the Celtics have finally begun to click it seems and as long as they can stay out of each other's way they should be fine. 

Okay, Western Conference time. Here we go.

Warriors (1) v. Clippers (8)

So, this doesn't pertain to this match-up necessarily, but I really, really, really hate how the Western Conference broke. Like Clippers and Warriors... Really? Why? The Clippers were one of my favorite teams to watch this year (like a top 3 team for watchability, for real) and now they're gonna get swept by the Warriors in the first round? Gosh. This sucks. And the conference only gets worse as you go down. So let's just go ahead and do that. 

Nuggets (2) v. Spurs (7)

Eh...

The Nuggets...? I guess. 

Like they're the 2 seed, but they're playing the Spurs, and last time I checked Gregg Popovich is still coaching the Spurs. *Checks Basketball Reference.* Yeah Gregg Popovich is still coaching the Spurs.

The last few years I've had a saying come this time of the season: "There are 2 people I don't bet against in the playoffs, LeBron James and Gregg Popovich."

Well guess what. LeBron didn't make the playoffs and I'm betting against Pop. Todd throwing caution to the wind. What a time to be alive.

Trailblazers (3) v. Thunder (6)

Wow. What a first round. So, the first thing that has to be noted is that one of these teams or the Nuggets is going to the Western Conference Finals. Think about that. The Nuggets, who missed the playoffs last year, the Trailblazers, who have been swept out of the first round the last 2 seasons, or the Thunder, who have yet to win a playoff series since Kevin Durant left, are going to make it to the Western Conference Finals.

Holy Hell. 

That means - and this is my favorite part - that one of these 2 teams has to win a playoff series! Isn't that wild! For years these teams have done their best to not win in the first round and now one of them has to win! If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, "What a time to be alive."

Rockets (4) v. Jazz (5)

This is just bullshit. These are 2 of the best teams in the West. They are much better than their seeding would imply, and the fact that one of them isn't going to make it to the Conference Semifinals is heartbreaking in its absurdity. 

Can you imagine if James Harden, who had one of the most historic scoring runs in the history of basketball this season, lost in the first round? That would be devastating. It simply wouldn't be fair. And while he is very, very prone to choking in the playoffs, I can't see him letting it happen this early.

Which means that Utah has to go home in the first round, and that is equal parts unfair. Since the beginning of the calendar year the Jazz have only lost 13 games. They've only lost 3 times in the last month. They might not have gained home court advantage, as I once predicted, but they certainly got hot as Hell. To see them go out in a blaze of glory in the first round of the playoffs would be far from glorious. It would suck.

How dare the Western Conference break this way. That's my hot take. After a season where all but 1 team out West jockeyed for a position in the playoffs, the bracket has broken in the most unfair way imaginable. Fuck the playoffs. Long live the regular season.